and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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