Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
