I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
