Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
operation harelip BJ is a go
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
