they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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