Sponge bath it is.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
