I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
