I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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