Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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