i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
