Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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