Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
