dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Randomize
