I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize