Nicole vs. Life
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
