i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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