Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
