He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
