He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
