sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
