I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
