i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
