No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
