I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
