Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
