ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
