WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
