I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
