I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
