I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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