why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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