I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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