If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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