She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
