you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I have aggressive nipples.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
