Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
