So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
