my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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