im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
