I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
