I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
