I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
