I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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