they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
