Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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