just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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