I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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