He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
