'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
