it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
