i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
