He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
