He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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