Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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