so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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