I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
