plz talk dirty to me
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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