Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
