So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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