Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
