Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
