wake up i wanna do it froggy style
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
