Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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