I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
The beer is more important than you right now.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
