Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
