I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
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