You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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