I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
