My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
